I've been feeling kind of sad and stuck in a rut lately. I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel a little heavy inside. I don't worry too much about being sad as I know it will pass, I'm just feeling it in the moment, but I do worry a little about how comforting I find it.
I sit longer than necessary; I think most people do. I've asked myself why I'm doing this and I've also seen how many people around me find so much comfort in sadness.I think we are all addicted to sadness in some way.
Today I want to use this platform not only as my personal diary (I hope you do not mind), but I also want to address why I think we are addicted to sadness.
So, in today's blog post, I'm sharing my thoughts on grief, how we are addicted, why we are like this, and helpful tips.
My thoughts on sadness
disclaimer: When I speak of sadness in this post, I mean itDiscouragement or unhappiness in response to sadness, discouragement or disappointment(or without knowing why). This article just covers my thoughts and is not professional advice. Please note that I am not talking about depression as I don't know much about it and I haven't done enough research on it. Click for more information about depressionHere.
I consider myself an optimistic person and an excellent problem solver - if something is wrong, I fix it - but I also believe that negative emotions are inevitable and have a purpose.
It's the difficult times that teach us important lessons and make us grow.I'm not saying that we should get lost or seek out these negative emotions; I just don't think they're as bad as everyone makes them out to be.
I think I'm much better at dealing with negative emotions than I used to be. I work to not avoid conflict like the plague and experience negative emotions instead of avoiding them. But every now and then I find myself in a rut, often overstaying my welcome.
The first step to overcoming anything, in this case the addiction to sadness, is awareness.Being aware and understanding how and why we are addicted helps us to become aware of the problem in order to quit.
How addicted we are to sadness
We can unlearn the addiction to sadness, but first it requires awareness of what it means. To see your daily habits and replace them with more positive ones. Here are some signs or habits that show how you choose (and cling to) sadness at times;
- When life is too good, you find a way to "screw it up" because you're afraid it won't last (self sabotage)
- have problems withbatwhen things don't go your way.
- Use of drugs, alcohol, sex, food or anything elseaddictive or compulsive behavioras coping mechanisms. You know it won't work, but for some reason you keep going.
- play the victimand blaming others for your personal problems.
- Competewith the others to see who has the most difficulty.
- stayunhealthyEnot fulfilled Relationships.
- Armself care.Don't worry about your basic needs (healthy eating, regular exercise and enough sleep).
- Do you feel enslaved by your emotions?powerless to change. Believe that you have no control over how you feel.
- whineabout any inconvenience - look for things to complain about.
Why are we addicted to sadness
Each of us experiences a range of emotions. There is sadness, fear, anger, emotion, joy and much more. All of them are valid and have a purpose, howeverEver wonder why we're more likely to get stuck in sadness (or negative emotions) than positive emotions?
It's easier to maintain; it is more convenient and predictable. We know what sadness feels like and we can sustain it, unlike happiness that comes and goes. Happiness is not a permanent emotional state.
Contentment and inner peace can be permanent, but no luck.It's "easier" to be sad than happy; It doesn't demand much from you, where happiness requires you to be stronger than you feel and rise up even when you don't want to.
10 reasons why you might be addicted to sadness
- You feel you don't deserve happiness because you lack it.Self-esteem.
- Your parents helped raise youExcessive discipline and unrealistic expectationsthat may have taught you that unhappiness = love and success.
- traumas/negative experienceslead to an unconscious desire to return to misfortune again and again.
- The belief that being practical or realistic meansnon negative focus.
- You're consumed with guilt or regret, and that's why you choosepunish you.
- You areFear that the happy times won't lastand they will only let you down in the end, so avoid them.
- If you don't know luck, she can overcome itfear of the unknown.
- Discouragement is an excuse for thisstay in your comfort zone. You don't have to go out and meet new people, work hard on your goals, change jobs...
- OfAccept the world's problems as your ownand therefore you cannot allow yourself to be happy when people are starving or global warming is harming the planet.
- mental health disorderssuch as depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, PTSD, etc.
I may even find myself at some of these points, and I'm even glad I did, because now that I'm aware of it, I can take the first step towards changing my behavior.
What can we do
If you've realized that you might be addicted to sadness — or have experienced negative emotions like the rest of the 7 billion of us — here are some tips;
1. Identify the problem
First, identify that there is a problem.
We cannot change anything if we are not aware of it. I've said this before; Awareness is the first step. tryFind the cause of your problem/problems. It might be one of the 10 points we just discussed, or you might not have a reason. Sometimes I feel like my mind just wants to be sad that day, and trying to figure out what might be causing it really makes me feel worse.
2. Accept the situation
Allow yourself to be sad and really feel your emotions.How does sadness feel in your body? "Close your eyes and feel." Do you feel it in your throat, in your heart, or somewhere else? Does he stand or move? If it were a color, what color would it be?
This may seem strange at first, but it allows you to observe your emotions instead of getting attached or identifying with them.You are not your thoughts or feelings; You are the observer.
I recently readthe power of the momentby Eckhart Tolle, and in his book he talks about negative situations. We have 3 options. we can do both
- removed ourselvesof the situation
- act andto change death situation, or
- to acceptEs.
So if you're feeling stuck, which of these options can you try?
Accepting the situation is often the hardest, as we can have a lot of resistance to it, but the freedom to let go is always so good!By accepting the situation, we let go of the resistance that often causes the greatest pain.
3. Let go of expectations
If you had asked me what I thought the meaning of life was at this time last year, I probably would have said happiness. I used to think that happiness was the biggest part of my life, but I realized that happiness is ephemeral and hard to pursue.Chasing happiness makes you unhappy because you are afraid of losing it once you have it.
My goal is to stop being happy, it's inner peace, and the best thing about inner peace is that you don't have to do or be anything to get it. That's ita decision to be grateful and content with what you have.It's a shift in perspective and being in the present instead of dealing with the past or the future.
I no longer expect to always be happy; I know it's unrealistic and not good for me.Nobody can be happy all the time, but you can be at peace and content with your life.Seeing life this way makes both the good and the bad better, as it takes the pressure off of you to always be happy.
4. Take responsibility and take care of yourself
Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed and you may not feel strong enough, but you really are!
Realize that you deserve the best and give it to yourself.Don't stay in the rut for too long because it's more convenient than finding your way out.
Treat yourself like you would your best friend when he's feeling down.Do the things that make you happy - go on a picnic alone, reread your favorite book, watch that show that makes you laugh so hard, or just sit in the sun and enjoy nature. Give yourself lots of love – write a letter to yourself mentioning why you love yourself, how proud you are of yourself or maybe apologizing.
I hope this article has helped you better understand your sadness and that you are not alone.We all fall down sometimes; it makes us human. The important thing is that you grow from it and always get back up.
We love hearing from you!
What do you think of this article? What makes you feel better when you're feeling down? Let us know in the comments below.
Scientists have discovered negative emotions have an addictive quality that trigger the reward centers in the brain. In other words, you feel like you're rewarding yourself when you succumb to negative emotions. Worry activates areas of the brain that trick you into feeling soothed.Can you be addicted to a type of sadness? ›
The short answer is no. You cannot become addicted to depression. Addiction is a psychological and behavioral state where you compulsively seek a substance or engage in a certain behavior, despite any negative consequences.Why do I choose sadness? ›
One possibility, the scientists say, is that depressed people use emotion regulation to verify their emotional selves. In other words, sadness is more familiar to depressed people, so they are motivated to experience sadness as a way of reaffirming who they are.Can you be addicted to suffering? ›
Suffering and struggle are emotional addictions as strong as addictions to alcohol, nicotine and drugs.Can you get addicted to emotions? ›
People with emotional addiction can become dependent on a certain emotion for comfort, relief, distraction or escape. The emotion grows into an obsession, a compulsion and an addiction. Those who develop an emotional addiction might feel as if they live at the mercy of their feelings.Why are we addicted to pain? ›
The authors say that a drop in the neurotransmitter dopamine, which has been linked to pain behavior before, is responsible. “The study shows you can think of chronic pain as the brain getting addicted to pain.What do you call a person who is always sad? ›
A morose person is sullen, gloomy, sad, glum, and depressed — not a happy camper. When someone is morose, they seem to have a cloud of sadness hanging over them. This word is stronger than just sad — morose implies being extremely gloomy and depressed.Can you get addicted to negative emotions? ›
Patients exposed to intense negativity during early life may develop an addiction to negative experience as adolescents and adults, and this may constitute a central organizing feature of their personality. In almost all patients, however, some moments of negativity may be observed.Why do I crave misery? ›
Lifelong struggles with trauma or other negative experiences may fuel an unconscious desire to continually return to the status quo of unhappiness. Some people who seem comfortable in their misery actually may be suffering from an underlying mental health disorder.Why is sadness the strongest emotion? ›
Sadness is one of our strongest emotions because it signals and pulls others towards us when it is expressed. In other words, sadness is the emotion that can most often elicit empathy and care from others.
Sadness probably isn't one of your favorite feelings, but it's still a valuable emotion, and it's OK to be sad. While it might be uncomfortable, letting sadness in can come with many benefits. It's common to label sadness as a “negative” emotion and avoid it as a result.Can you be addicted to crying? ›
Crying does release endorphins (naturally-produced opioids), especially when crying for a long period of time. Many self-harm addictions are caused by the same thing—pain leads to a release of endorphins to dull the pain of it, and then you become addicted to it if you do it too often.Is being addicted to stress? ›
Yes, you can. What is a stress addiction? It can be defined as a recurring pattern of seeking out situations or behaving in ways that increase stress, even when you're distressed, aware of the potential consequences, and want to stop.Is stress an addiction? ›
And stress may even be as addictive as drugs. In addition to the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline, stress also releases dopamine, a “feel good” chemical. Dopamine encourages repeat behaviors by activating the reward center in our brain and may be at the heart of many addictive behaviors and substance abuse issues.What causes too much emotion? ›
Feeling heightened emotions or like you're unable to control your emotions can come down to diet choices, genetics, or stress. It can also be due to an underlying health condition, such as a mood disorder or hormones.Why do I like feeling hurt emotionally? ›
If it seems like you want to be bothered by someone all the time, then you might be an emotional masochist. There could be no reason for you to be in a bad mood, but you need someone to be upset with. You find problems where there aren't any or blow things out of proportion.How do you stop emotional addiction? ›
- Spend time with people who treat you well. It's not always easy to leave a relationship, even when you're ready to move on. ...
- Do things you enjoy. Maybe the time you've spent looking after others has kept you from hobbies or other interests. ...
- Take care of your health. ...
- Let go of negative self-talk.
Over time if this area is continually stimulated, if the sensitive nerves or the area responsible for pain memory keep sending messages to it, it can adapt to this input and become used to it. So pain can become part of the sensation for that part of the body.Can you become addicted to a person? ›
Although addiction to a person isn't a formal medical diagnosis, it's possible to fall into a pattern of emotional dependence on someone. Breaking out of this relationship pattern can be difficult and often means getting to the root of what's causing your emotional dependence.Does pain make us better? ›
“Pain is information about what's wrong,” according to Paul Bloom, the Yale psychologist and popular author, “and an inducement to make things better.” Yet at times we embrace pain in order to enhance our lived experience.
- Regular Usage.
- Risky Usage.
When we think of addiction, we usually think of alcohol or illegal drugs. But people become addicted to medicines, cigarettes, even glue. Some substances are more addictive than others: Drugs like crack or heroin are so addictive that they might only be used once or twice before the user loses control.What can you be addicted to list? ›
- Alcohol. As of 2020, 10.2% (or 28.3 million) people aged 12 or older reported struggling with an alcohol use disorder (AUD). ...
- Nicotine. ...
- Marijuana. ...
- Opioids. ...
- Inhalants. ...
- Cocaine. ...
- Heroin. ...
Melancholy is beyond sad: as a noun or an adjective, it's a word for the gloomiest of spirits. Being melancholy means that you're overcome in sorrow, wrapped up in sorrowful thoughts.What is the strongest word for sad? ›
bitter, dismal, heartbroken, melancholy, mournful, pessimistic, somber, sorrowful, sorry, unhappy, wistful, bad, dark, depressing, miserable, moving, pathetic, pitiful, poignant, regrettable.Why are negative thoughts so addictive? ›
You're going to become chemically addicted to cortisol which means that your body is going to force the brain to think negatively so that they can get that hit. Cortisol is a chemical in your brain that tends to flow more freely and spurs negative thoughts. Your brain loves cortisol.Why do we enjoy negative thoughts? ›
Research shows that our brains evolved to react much more strongly to negative experiences than positive ones. It kept us safe from danger. But in modern days, where physical danger is minimal, it often just gets in the way. It's called the negativity bias.What is the main cause of negative feelings? ›
Negative emotions can come from a triggering event, such as an overwhelming workload. Your thoughts surrounding an event also play a role. The way that you interpret what happened can alter how you experience the event and whether or not it causes stress.What is it called when you enjoy mental pain? ›
Well, people who are 'emotional masochists' tend to feel most comfortable in painful relationships. Sometimes it is because they don't think they deserve any better and other times it is because of a history of trauma, they think that is all they deserve.
As humans, we're programmed to experience negative emotions more intensely than positive ones. In psychology, this is known as a negativity bias; a tendency of our brains to register negative events or feelings more strongly than happy memories. This definitively rings true to my own experiences.Why does it feel better to be sad than happy? ›
It is easier to be sad than happy, there is no way around it. This does not mean that depression is a choice or that there is anything easy about it, but rather that sadness is a primal emotion that you can easily gain from yourself, whilst happiness too often relies on others and needs your full attention and effort.What are the 3 strongest emotions? ›
- #1 Fear. The greatest (and most primitive, since it originates from our early reptilian brain) is fear. ...
- #2 Anger. Coming in at a close second is anger. ...
- #3 Sorrow. The third emotion is probably sorrow. ...
- #4 Joy. The light at the end of the emotional tunnel is of course joy.
Fear is among the most powerful of all emotions. And since emotions are far more powerful than thoughts, fear can overcome even the strongest parts of our intelligence.What is the strongest emotion a human can feel? ›
Psychologists say that love is the strongest emotion. Humans experience a range of emotions from happiness to fear and anger with its strong dopamine response, but love is more profound, more intense, affecting behaviors, and life-changing.Why do I feel like I need to cry but I can t? ›
There are many reasons why you might struggle to shed a tear or two. It might be because of a physical ailment but, more often than not, an inability to cry says a lot about our emotional state, our beliefs and prejudices about crying, or our past experiences and trauma.Why do I smile when I'm sad? ›
The hallmark of smiling depression is sadness. The smile and external façade is a defense mechanism, an attempt to hide their true feelings. A person could be experiencing sadness about a failed relationship, career challenges, or lacking what they view as a true purpose in life.Does being sad make you happier? ›
It's easy to deem sadness as an inherently negative emotion and happiness as a net positive one. But, according to experts, feeling sadness is good to a degree, and can even give way to you feeling happier because you're more aware of and in tune with all of your real emotions.Why is crying so addicting? ›
That is because crying can elevate your mood by lowering manganese levels. Manganese is a mineral that regulates anxiety, stress, and aggression. Your body is releasing toxins while crying, and it is best to let your body do its thing. Dispelling toxins and emotions can benefit your health both mentally and physically.Why do I want to keep crying? ›
Some researchers believe crying is a way your body gets rid of stress-related hormones. Other studies show tears may trigger the release of endorphins. Endorphins are hormones that make you feel good and reduce pain. A recent focus of research is the response people have to the chemical content of tears.
Your brain signals your adrenal glands to release stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. These chemicals boost your heart rate and blood pressure, so if you hold them in while trying not to cry, it can translate into chest tightness and heavy breathing.What are 5 signs you are addicted to stress? ›
Look for symptoms such as: fatigue, increased heart rate, high blood pressure, insomnia, a change in appetite, anxiety, irritability, depression, withdrawal, and a compromised immune system. Those with high levels of stress are also more prone to other addictions, such as drug or alcohol abuse.Is depression an addiction? ›
Is depression addictive? Depression is not addictive in the same way as drugs or alcohol may become addictive. With substances like drugs or alcohol, use may damage or replace the brain's survival mechanisms which help it to identify pleasure or impending danger.Can anxiety be addictive? ›
While anxiety can be addictive, it does not appear to be nearly as addictive as other substances, especially nicotine, alcohol, and opioids. Many patients can overcome those addictions, sometimes even naturally.Is trauma an addiction? ›
Clearly, stress and trauma are linked to addiction. Early trauma impacts a person's ability to cope with stress. When stress becomes unbearable, overwhelming and frightening, it often leads to addiction.Is addiction in the brain? ›
Addiction is now understood to be a brain disease. Whether it's alcohol, prescription pain pills, nicotine, gambling, or something else, overcoming an addiction isn't as simple as just stopping or exercising greater control over impulses.Is PTSD an addiction? ›
With enough time and use, the PTSD sufferer can become addicted. Both disorders have a complex impact on the brain. It's crucial to treat PTSD and drug addiction simultaneously to undo this damage. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help those with PTSD cope with their painful memories.What is it called when you like feeling sad? ›
The word you are looking for is MOROSE, it describes a person that prefers to be sad, enjoys being sad. Also the word morose, encompasses the words I mentioned previously (depressed, sullen, gloomy, glum).Why is sadness more intense than happiness? ›
As humans, we're programmed to experience negative emotions more intensely than positive ones. In psychology, this is known as a negativity bias; a tendency of our brains to register negative events or feelings more strongly than happy memories.Can you be addicted to loneliness? ›
Loneliness can easily lead to addiction, and once addiction encompasses one's life, the cycle becomes harder to break. You may have heard that the opposite of addiction is connection, and there is truth in that. Without connections with others, the chances of recovery are slim to none.
depressed, despondent, miserable, sorry, calamitous, unfortunate, troubled, bleak, blue, cheerless, crestfallen, chapfallen, dejected, destroyed, disconsolate, discouraged, dismal, dispirited, distressed, doleful.Why is sadness so powerful? ›
Studies have shown that, contrary to being a “useless” emotion, sadness is beneficial to us in ways that actually enhance our well-being. Joseph Paul Forgas, Ph. D., has discovered that when we are sad, we can remember details more accurately, have better judgment, and have more motivation than when we are happy.How does sadness affect a person? ›
Depression affects your mood, thoughts, feelings, behaviors and physical health. Severe depression can result in losing the ability to feel pleasure in the things you once enjoyed. It can also cause you to withdraw from your social relationships even from people to whom you are closest.